Monday, February 6th, 2012 |
Christine visited over the weekend. We really enjoyed our time in visitation. She tries to visit at least once a month. This is a real hardship on her and other prison wives in terms of time, stress, effort and money. Christine’s commitment is truly a sign of love. However, the real struggle is at home. We shared our responsibilities of the house, and I was certainly the breadwinner of the household. This is probably true of most marriages prior to a loved one going to prison. But, this is all changed now.
We don’t have any children, but understand the pressure with children in the household. It is amazing how many guys I see agonize about situations at home. The children are growing up without a father-figure in the household, the mother is working and there is very little support from others. The families have a terrible time coping with the realities of prison. And, many can’t cope! Children of inmates are 50% more likely to go to prisons themselves. Most families are on some sort of welfare support. It is tough.
I feel so bad that Christine is having a challenging time with me in prison. I am in no position to support her in all ways. The wives have the worst of it. We get three meals a day, housing and generally laidback days. The wives are home to pick up the pieces. They are worrying about the inmate, housing, supporting themselves and dealing with the mundane things in life. It is no wonder that 80% of the women of inmates leave their guys.
I am so blessed to have Christine as loyal and loving spouse. I know it has been very difficult for her. At visitation, I noticed it was the same thing with the other wives. We only see a small portion of families in the visitation room that have our type of relationship. It is very evident who the loving couples are, and you see them consistently. These are the lucky ones. There are so many guys who get no visits, or rarely so.